How? Part 1.

Hunting has been on my mind.

My family is not a hunting family. Yes, I do have some crazy uncles and cousins who enjoy the sport but growing up hunting was never anything my dad did or my mom even liked to talk about. My Uncle David is an avid hunter and I still remember clearly the year he decided to take me with him on a deer hunt.

I had just turned 8 that summer and my Uncle David didn't have any children of his own yet. I can't imagine what possessed him to take a look at me (all knobby knees, scraped-up shins and buck teeth) and decide that he could transform me into a hunter. I think it must have been a male version of "the ticking clock".

My mom granted permission for me to go and I was over the moon! Camping out was going to be so much fun! I had never been camping before and I was nervous as well as naive. We get to hunting camp and my Aunt Marie (David's wife) was there already with her brother Jack who was a year or two older than me. There were also a few other hunters who I didn't pay much attention too until later the next day when I suffered my first humiliating camping disaster. Then I noticed by golly. Who wouldn't with the way their laughter was booming across the countryside?

Anyway, not to drag the story out to long, everything was going fine until my Uncle David tried to wake me up the next morning. I am not a morning person now and I was not a morning person then. He finally gave up when my kicking, biting, scratching little body refused to leave the sleeping bag. He and all the men left and my Aunt Marie and I woke up later and read books around camp. "I love hunting!" I told my Aunt Marie. She just smiled at me with her wise eyes and said nothing.

Later that day all the men returned hooping and hollering because they had each shot a buck and now they were going to pick them up with the truck. My Uncle David invited me along and since there wasn't room in the cab, Jack and I rode in the back under the canopy. We bounced along a dirt road for a few miles and then we unloaded. I played around with some sticks and waited for the men to load the bucks into the back of the truck. Then it was time to head back to camp. Jack and I once again rode in the back but we had company now and it was more of a tight fit. I was looking at one of the animals when Jack told me "Don't get to close to them. They're covered in ticks."

Say What!? Ticks!! I was immediatly grossed out and FREAKED out! My imagination took off and I was already looking all over my body for little black bugs to be crawling around trying to find just the right place to latch onto me and start bloating their bodies with my blood. I backed away from the deer as far as I could go (not too far) and pretended to be very nonchalant about the ticks (Jack was a year older than me and I had to be as cool as he was). Meanwhile I was watching out of the corner of my eye for any ticks who possessed ninja skills and could fly through the air to land on me.

When we got back to camp, I waited at the very back of the truck until all the deer were unloaded and then I made my escape. I didn't care about the blood or the guts I saw. I was scared of the ticks. As I scrambled down off the tail gate I swore to myself that I would never put myself in the position to be eaten by ticks ever again.

After dinner I was feeling better and over my scare of the ticks. I now had a new scare. The dark forest and my pressing need to use the bathroom. I kept imagining all sorts of things waiting out in the dark for a little girl like me. Bears, wolves, ... ticks. I decided to be sneaky and just go behind a tree that was practically in camp and that way everyone would be sure to hear me scream for help if I needed it.

I slowly edged my pants down and peered out into the dark woods. I thought I heard something to the left of me so I scooted over a little bit behind the tree to be that much closer to camp. I waited breathlessly until I was sure that nothing was going to grab me and then I started to go. That's when I heard it.

I heard a roar of laughter from the camp that had to have scared off every tick within a 10-mile radius. I hurried to finish my business and then I turned around. Everyone was laughing and pointing at me. Some were holding their bellies in laughter and others were just shaking their heads and chortling. Was I the only one who didn't know the joke? My Uncle David got up finally and walked over to me. Then he bent down and whispered to me that I hadn't been behind the tree after all.

I was done with hunting after that. My Uncle David and his ticking clock would have to look elsewhere because I was only using indoor plumbing from now on. Between the ticks and the not-quite-peeing behind the tree incident I swore my first blood oath that I was never going hunting in my life again. (I didn't have any blood so I actually had to spit instead).

Looking back at it now, I think that Lord must have been laughing also but for a different reason. He could see my future and what it would bring into my life.

It would bring Mark.

More hunting stories to follow in the next few days. Don't say I didn't warn you!