What's scarier than Pamela Anderson without make-up?

More fearsome than teenage girls at a sold out Twilight show?

Tens times more terrifying than the thought of your mother moving in with you?

It's Saber Tooth Owen.

The birds were still and the squirrels could be seen bounding across the grass in a desperate run for their lives. Not a sound could be heard but the windchimes gently swaying in the cool afternoon breeze.

And then, a faint smell on the wind blew my way.

Pickles.

I instantly became alert. I only know of one such creature that possess that odor. A ferocious, crafty and sometimes silly animal.

That's when I spotted it stalking me.

Blood was dripping down it's self-made fangs that eerily looked like a scooby-doo picture that had been cut up and then colored on.

A smirk was on his face that called to mind someone else who smirks and likes to sneak up on me and make me scream.

I pretend to look away to lure this little creature in closer. His eyes start to dance with anticipation as he gets closer and closer until he roars his best roar, hurls his body in my direction and starts to gnaw on my arm.

I scream (if he's the animal I have to play the damsel-in-distress) and then say,

"What a wickedly scary animal this is! Whatever shall I do?!"

Saber-Tooth Owen jumps up and yells "Did I scare you Mommy?"

"Oh yes you sure did. My what big fangs you have!"

"I made them myself! I'm a saber-tooth Owen and my diet is meat!"

Wiping the slobber off my arm, I asked him to give me his best saber-tooth smile.

Pretty scary eh?

(He wanted to sleep with his fangs on and when I told him that wasn't a good idea he growled at me.)