Chasing a Dream

Today we added something new to our yard.

It wasn't anything big or fancy but I think you might like it.

Well, what do you think? Are you thinking we are crazy? Because there are moments when I think we are. But then I think of what we are going to do with the sale of this house and I am so excited and eager to get started! We are going to chase a dream of ours. The dream of owning land out of town where we can have some horses, some cows, some chickens, an orchard, a big garden, a place for the boys to ride 4-wheelers or dirt bikes. A place to call our own. One that we build.

We have made an offer on 6.22 acres located a little ways out of town. It will still have the creek that we love on it. It will still be close the McKay school, where I now work and the boys go to school. It will still be everything we have now but so very much more.

It will mean saying good-bye to our beautiful house that has so many memories in it and that won't be easy for me. I have stamped every inch of this house with "us" that I can't imagine new people coming in here and changing everything to make it their own. This is where we brought home our babies and watched them learn to crawl and walk and ride bikes. This is where we have had countless BBQ's, family get togethers, baby showers, birthday parties and card nights. I think of Halloween and I picture myself walking this neighborhood with the boys and then answering my front door for the hundred or so kids that come by. I know right where my Christmas tree is going to go and right where I hang the stockings. I have plans for next spring and what flowers I am going to plant. But all that will be changing if our home sells. 

But new memories will be made.

So it will be good-bye kitchen (the only inside house picture that turned out today).

Good-bye fire pit. I have loved you very much but we will give you a newer, bigger, and better place to light up.

Porch swing - you are coming with me sister! I couldn't give you up!

I will miss our raspberries and strawberries but we will plant more.

The Play Structure. This one was a debate. To take or to leave. Mark was voting leave so I had to trump his vote with sentimental value (my grandma bought it for the boys) and possible long term usage (the boys still play on it!). We finally agreed that it can be a negotiating point.

There are so many things to miss.

Sitting in the shade under out tree and having picnic lunches.

The creek and all it's sounds.

(I wouldn't go outside the fence though because I was wearing flip flops and I had heard rumor of a snake or two in the area.)

The big covered porch.

Our neighbor Ron who the boys insist on calling Mr. Rodgers (because of the show Mr. Rodger's Neighborhood).

Lots of changes coming up filled with so much potential!

We have a showing tonight and two tomorrow.

When I was younger (and dumber) Mark and I used to go cliff-jumping out at Warehouse beach in Hermiston. I did it to impress Mark and he did it to impress me and while we were both impressed at the time, I 'm glad we are way past that stage in the game! Anyway, I remember it being my turn and walking out to the edge of the cliff. I would feel the wind pushing against me, the small rocks under my feet and the stares of my friends on my back as they watched to see how I jumped off the cliff. Everyone had their own style. Some would run and jump, yelling and screaming the whole way day. Some would dive off as graceful as a bird. Some would even jump off backwards. None of those approaches worked for me. I would always have to calmly walk, not run, and when I got within about 10 feet of the edge I would stop, look back and make sure Mark was watching me. Then I would run the last 3 steps and jump with all my might out into nothing. While in the air I would never look down but instead I would look out across the river and think "This is freaking idiotic! What am I doing! My mother is going to kill me! I hope there are no snakes or fish that want to nibble my toes in the water!" About then I would hit the water and it was always a shock. One it was cold. And two, it hurt! Then with a quick swim I would make it to the trail leading back up the cliff. Mark would always be waiting for me. He would have a huge grin on his face and he'd say things like a 19 year old boy would say "That was awesome! You didn't even hesitate! You were fearless!"

He always made every jump worth it.

I have that same feeling now. The one where I am in the air falling into nothing. I have walked calmly up to this point with my eyes wide open but it's always when you are in the air that you begin to have doubts. Some of the same thoughts are in my head now as they were then. "This is feaking idiotic! What am I doing!" but I am hoping for the big reward at the end. It won't be Mark's big smile and praise since he is right beside me now. Instead I am hoping for the two of us landing, swimming to the path, and climbing up together towards our dream.