Things College did NOT prepare me for!

As I was sitting here on my couch reflecting on my day, I came to the conclusion that college was great for teaching me how to write a lesson plan but it certainly didn't have a lot of training in some other crucial areas.
Information that I think would have helped me greatly better understand this profession I was getting myself into. Things like...

1. The fact that little kids love to pick their nose and (horror of horrors!) eat it! I have tried everything that I can think of to persuade one sngelic, blue-eyed boy in my room to give up the habit. I've ran the gambit from the idea that boogers are bad for the digestion to the fact that a small monster lives up his nose and could bite his finger off. He just looks at me and tells me he's hungry. Ewww.

2. The children with lice are the ones that like to hug you the most. I noticed one of my sweet girls digging away at her head and I had an instant flashback to the many times in the last two days where she has come up behind me while I'm sitting in my chair and given me an "ambush hug" (one from behind that I don't see coming). I'm making Mark check me tonight.

3. When children are not feeling well, they will wait until the last second to tell you before they vomit everywhere. (Twice. Last week alone. All over my carpet and a little on my shoe.)

4. Without fail, I will be sneezed on or coughed at by at least 2 of my cherubs. My immune system is running at full throttle 24/7. I am amazed that I haven't been sick all year. I have had the occasional cough and a runny nose one time that was ridiculous but nothing that has made me miss school, which leads me to the next number.

5. I would rather cut off a limb then write sub plans. Seriously. Who knew how hard it would be to make plans for someone else to follow. Plans that account for every second of a whole school day. Plans that tell another person how to take care of 27 little kids all with their own personal agendas for the day. Who goes home with whom on what day, when to send which kids at which time to which place to see which teacher. Who needs medicine when and who does not get to use the bathroom 500 times a day. What to do if it is raining, what to do if the computer is not working, what to do if ... my brain starts to hurt just thinking about writing sub plans. The last time I was gone, my plans covered 5 pages - and that was just directions on how to turn on all my technology for the day.

6. My celebrity status. I am always greeted with shock and awe and lots of attention accompianed with hugs whenever I run into any of my students. It doesn't matter if they're in middle school now or if they saw me just an hour earlier. They still greet me with so much excitement that I can't help but think it's the highlight of their day (and it's secretly mine when they greet me that way!).

7. Their conviction that everything I say should be treated like gospel. An elementary school teacher has super powers unknown to those in middle school and high school. Our students believe us with no questions asked. According to them, we are the end all and be all when it comes to "everything". I have had numerous parents tell me that their children argue with them about how to do something because "it's not the way Mrs. Golter taught us how to do it." With great power comes great responsiblity! I have to be super careful about everything I say because you never know what will be shared over the dinner table that night at my student's houses!

8. My students examine every little thing about me. If I have had my hair cut, my nails painted (a little girl told me this morning it's time for my toenails to be painted - I agreed). They want to know everything about my dog, my children, my husband (who came in this week to talk about police officers - they were all very impressed with the taser! If only I could use one as well...). One Halloween it was discovered by some of my students where I lived and before I knew it, half my class had shown up on some pretext of "having" to come and see me. (It was really cute...).

9. How much I love them. From booger eater to lice girl, they are all mine and I love each and every one of them. How could I not when they believe everything I say and share all their germs with me? I don't know if it's the unreserved love they shower me with or the simple fact that they love to learn, but I find them all irresistible. They make everyday fun (sometimes tiring too!) and I always find it hard to let them go at the end of the school year.

Luckily, I have 2 months of time off to nurse my broken heart. That always helps. Plus the fact that I get all new cherubs to love the next year.

Teaching rocks. Seriously.