Oh @%$#!

Yesterday, out of nowhere a car came flying around the corner of somewhere or other and the mirror ran right into the side of Mark's pick-up.
Wait, that's not right. Yesterday, out of nowhere another truck pulling a white horse trailer backed up into Mark's pick-up. Oops, that's not right either. Would you believe a mailbox was picked up in a freak windstorm outside of Hermiston and slammed into the side of Mark's pick-up?

I didn't think so. Ok... here's what happened. I did it. It was me. Well, me and a mailbox that (sigh) happened to be perfectly stationary.


Need a closer look?

Mark had entrusted me with his baby so that the boys and I could go to Hermiston to pick up some big chairs that wouldn't fit into the car. Caleb, Owen and I had a great time, honking and waving at all our friends, speeding down the highway, mooning the semi's (just kidding on most of that). Then it came time for us to head to Aunt McMolly's for a BBQ. I pulled up in front of the house and decided that the truck was too close to the road. I didn't want anyone to even come close to hitting Mark's baby or a stray rock being kicked up and finding it's way into the truck's paint job so I decided to back up and pull into the driveway. Big mistake that backing up. I looked in my left mirror, in my right mirror, in the rearview mirror. You name it and I looked in it. Then I proceeded to back up. Things were going great and then I felt a bump. I don't even know how to describe the feeling that came over me. It was a combination of vomit in my mouth, heart in my throat and pee in my pants. I quickly pulled into the driveway and got out of the truck to see the damage (and to see whatever it was that I had hit). Apparently there are mailboxes to the left of Aunt McMolly's driveway. I had never noticed them before. I think they must have been further down the street and then, when they heard me put Big Red in reverse, they came running down and planted themselves right where I would hit them. They, of course, were fine and I think I even heard one of them laugh at me and say something in Spanish about me not knowing how to back up.

On my way home after the BBQ, Mark called me on the cell phone.

Mark - "Hey hun, where are you at?"

Me (the guilty one)- "We're almost home. I'm getting ready to head down The Hill."

Mark - "How's the truck?"

Me - (How the hell did he know!? He must have some kind of mental link with the truck and it's tattled on me already!) "Gooooood" - I say cautiously.

Mark - "It's fun to drive isn't it?"

Me - "Yeah, it really is." (No, it really isn't - too much pressure!).

Mark - "I'll see you soon babe."

He was waiting for me in the driveway when I came home.

Mark - "Hey babe, you sounded a little weird on the phone. Are you ok?"

Me (with an outpouring of tears and a rehearsed speech) - "I need to show you something."

A stillness came over his face as he walked towards me and when I pointed to the damage I had done, not a word was said. He bent down and carefully touched the scratch and dent(s). Then he straightened back up and looked at me. I tried to squeeze out some more tears (I am a shameful manipulator when I have to be). When he reached for me, I made sure not to flinch. I figured I deserved whatever punishment he chose to hand out.His arms grabbed me and pulled me close. Then he hugged me and said he still loved me.

Thank goodness. He passed the test and he didn't even know it! He did tell me that I have been assigned 10 hours of backing up lessons though before I can drive Big Red again. OK - if I have to. He also said someone had called Oregon State Police to report a red truck speeding down the highway with a 5 year old driving, and what looked to be his mommy, mooning semi's. I said I didn't know anything about that.