Funny Monkeys

These two monkeys of mine. I can only shake my head sometimes and wipe the tears away. They are usually tears of laughter but Owen does have a gas problem so sometimes we all have tears. The two of them have created a new world order and changed life as we know it. Colors are no longer simply red, brown, green, and blue. They go by new names now. New names that will make you stronger (according to Caleb).
Yellow - Sunny
Orange - Pumpkin Face
Blue - Water
Purple - Grape
Black - Dark Cloud
Green - Grassy
Brown - Chocolate & Dusty
Red - Jelly

Just think - Christmas colors are now Jelly and Grassy. Halloween is full of Pumpkin Face and Dark Cloud with some Grape thrown in. I can already hear the phone ringing and Caleb's kindergarten teacher asking me what in the world have I taught my children.

Funny Monkeys 1: The other day we were all in the car heading up to the pool. I was teasing Mark about getting another job so that I can get a new camera. Caleb piped up from the back and said "Daddy does have two jobs! He's a police and he's SQUAT!"
I, of course, laughed and listened to Mark try to explain to him that it's called SWAT not SQUAT, when Owen throws his two-cents in there. "You're not a swatter Daddy, you're a spanker!".

Funny Monkeys 2: The boys and I were at Safeway using the self-check service. I was all done and Owen was standing in the cart while I placed the groceries around him. The self-checkout machine said something like "take your money from below the scanner". Owen looks at me and asks "Is this lady real?". I told him "Yes. Her name is Sasha and she works inside the machine during the day and fights crime at night."
Owen turns to the machine and says ever so sweetly while pointing "I'm Owen and this is my brother Caleb and this is my mommy Aunt Miriah."
(I later explained about Sasha - don't worry)

Funny Monkeys 3 (and then I'm done, I promise!): Mark had just finished working a graveyard shift and Owen and I were tucking him into bed and asking him about his night. (Caleb was off having an army battle of epic proportions that included war zones in the living room and kitchen). Owen started with "Daddy, how many bad guys did you get?" Mark countered with "Six". Owen said breathlessly "SIX! How did you get so many?" "I went to a party and people were doing things they weren't supposed to". Owen leaned in close to Mark's face, his eyes were huge and he whispered with both disbelief and awe "Did someone pop all the balloons?!"