Courage

This last Friday I attended a Celebration of Life service for a much-loved member of our community. Walt was a person who many loved, respected and admired. At age 41 he was much too young to die. However, I didn't attend the service for Walt. I attended the service because of someone I admire even more than him. I attended because of his wife Stacey.



Webster's dictionary defines courage as mental or moral strength to resist opposition, danger or hardship. It implies firmness of mind and will in the face of extreme difficulty. A person with courage has an ingrained capacity for meeting strain or difficulty with fortitude and resilience. In the last two years that I have known Stacey she has displayed more courage than I can even fathom.



During her husband's battle against cancer, Stacey has been his cheerleader, his nurse, his steadfast supporter, his wife. Once when we were talking in the hallway, I asked her how she managed to stay so positive and upbeat and she told me that she had her time to cry every day. She would wait until she was in the shower and then that would be her crying time, the time when she could let it all out. Once she was done and drained, she would get out of the shower and put on her brave face so as not to upset her children and husband by breaking down in front of them. Stacey chose to be the strong one, the one they could rely on and go to when they were hurting.

When I imagined what courage looked like in my mind, it was always courageous acts done in quick situations. For example, a mom protecting a child from an attacking animal or a soldier bravely placing himself in danger so that someone else would be safe. Those acts were very courageous yes, but they were such short and brief acts of courage that I couldn't help but feel like I could do them too. Stacy's brand of courage, the kind that lasts days, weeks, months, years - to me that is the kind of courage that I don't think I could do. To look at your dreams dying, your hopes dying, your husband and father of your children . . . dying. To look at all that and still get up each morning and put a smile on your face for your children and husband in order to ease some of their suffering - that to me is amazing.

While I pray that I am never tested in such a manner as Stacey, I also pray that if I am I will be half as strong as her. Strong enough to love my husband to the end the way she did and strong enough to honor his memory the way she did. Stacey is an example we can all look to when times get tough, someone who never gives up. When I picture courage in my mind now, Stacey is what I will see.